When we are weak He is Strong
Friday, February 14, 2003 6am
I woke up feeling like the little one, wanting her
daddy. She felt so little, so alone in the corner. She was crying to
be held. My adult mind couldn’t figure out how to meet this need.
It was such a strong physical need and it didn’t make sense how God
could meet that need. But finally I cried out to the heavenly Father
because I knew He knew. I felt Him prompting me to let her go sit in
the corner and He would come to her. So I did and while in the corner
this is what I saw (I think it was a vision but I have never had one
like this before) It was liked Jesus picked up the little girl and
stepped into the vision:
I looked and I saw tall office buildings in the
background being blown up. I asked Jesus what it was and He said
“this
happened once before.” I asked what happened before? He
said, “What you have gone
through.” I thought He was taking me back to show me, so
I was looking to understand. Right in front of me were two men
fighting. It looked like He had taken me back to the middle of a war
zone. I kept asking who they were. Is that an angel, is it a man, who
are they and what happened once before? I remember thinking “is
this WWI or WWII.” And it came to me that this was WWI. I was
looking at the two men trying to see if I could see who they were.
As I continued to look at the two men, I saw that one had an army
uniform on and all of his gear. He was fighting with someone else. I
remember thinking, did someone in the war at that time go through the
same thing I am going through now?
Jesus then came over and picked me up. He began
to carry me past the two men and I saw that the army man was fighting
with a demon because there was no light shining from him. As Jesus
continued to carry me, we passed through a narrow passageway with the
wounded sitting up against the walls. There was a lot of smoke and
dust from the fighting and explosions. I asked Jesus where He was
taking me and He said, “to
the front.” I asked him (I kept asking a lot of
questions) why He was taking me to the front. He said because I was
wounded. I didn’t understand and asked again why would He take me
to the front if I was wounded. Shouldn’t those who are really
strong and fighting be in the front? He said, “no
it is because of your wounds that you are in the front. When you
become weak, I become strong.”
When we got to the front of the war He sat me
down and began to walk away. I became afraid and asked why He was
leaving. I didn’t want Him to leave. “Why would you bring me to
the front of the battle and leave me? I want you here to feel your
presence.” And He said, “There
is a difference between feeling my presence and having my presence in
you. If you feel my presence around you than when it is gone you will
feel alone, but if I am in you than my presence is mighty.”
Jesus in me was stronger and more powerful than feeling Jesus
presence around me. (I remember thinking of feeling His
presence in the church service and thinking that He must be wanting
to do more than just have us feel His presence, which comes and
goes.) As Jesus was leaving I begin to understand that He was in me.
I was to abide in Him. He wasn’t leaving me, for I was in Him. A
child needs to feel His presence, but when no longer a child than I
and Him are one. I then was able to see that He needed to go get more
wounded to bring to the front. I also began to understand what He
meant by this happening before. WWI was the first war that He had
fought. He had taken me back to the war He had fought. It had
happened before because He had already gone through it. He was the
warrior, we were the wounded.
After the vision He encouraged me to rest, but I
was anxious to write about it. I asked Him why I was having a hard
time resting in His peace, and He said that when anyone experiences
God the natural feeling is to get excited and want to share it.
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